...

It's been very sunny the past few days. Maybe it's cold, I don't know. I haven't left the house in fecking DAYS. The rage is beginning to unfurl from deep within. At first, I thought it was merely onset of more gruesome cramps, but it has a slightly different quality.

Yeah, so let's review: Q got pink eye on Weds. I started feeling ill on Thursday. Baby C was diagnosed with pink eye and dual ear infections on Friday. She started throwing up on Saturday, which is conveniently when things got bad for me as well. Sunday and Monday Q took care of all of us, and I'm feeling better (though not terrific) just in time, because he came down with this Gastro Bug from Hell last night.

A is either going to miss this one, or she's going to come last. We just don't know. It's part of the fun!

I Hate February, and I Hate Winter, and I Hate Germs. I'm really tired of putting my life on hold every few weeks to deal with some new version of Ick, and continually being behind on everything. Because ODDLY ENOUGH the world doesn't stop just because we're all fucking languishing over here.

Yeah yeah. Whine whine, bitch bitch.

If I Had Super Powers ...

Lately, I have been craving supernatural powers. Specifically, powers of mind control, or just a good Imperius Curse. Because I swear to All That Is, I am really sick of waiting for other people to take care of their own effing responsibilities. I have been waiting two years for this tree to come down. I talked to my neighbors, whose tree this is, earlier this year, expressing my concern about this tree, and its twin (which is bigger, just as dead, and has yet to fall) and about four tree-sized dead limbs which are dangling right near our fence. And they politely blew me off.

And when I saw one of those limbs fall this morning, while I was having my coffee, I shouted, "I KNEW IT!" because it did, in fact, fall into our yard, mere yards from where my children built a snowman yesterday, despite their assurance that if the limbs dropped, they would drop into their own yard.

It was a few hours later that the pine keeled over, crushing part of the fence in the process.

This only compounds my housing angst, because, though I haven't written about this, our attic and our basement are full of mold, which tested positive as "toxic black mold," which I'm told former tenants complained about, which had apparently been tidied up enough for us to rent the place and then came back full force. And since we had it analyzed and tested, my landlord has been mysteriously incommunicado.

So, if I had powers of mind control, I would spend one morning -- that's all it would take, I believe -- to force people to have fixed all the numerous health hazards in and around this house, so that I wouldn't have to go to the trouble and expense of moving again, and probably into another Mystery Rental which may have mice or lead paint or a mild demon infestation.

Lacking mind control, I could just assume powers of SuperHuman Strength, crush a few skulls, and then manually move all my own furniture and belongings into the next Mystery Rental. Then there's the demons. I could bring them a sacrifice -- I have a few choice people in mind -- but as far as I know, lead paint is unmoved by human sacrifice. And so, you see, I have yet to identify the ideal Tenant Superpower.

Perhaps the ideal Tenant Superpower is as simple as a degree in law.