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It's been very sunny the past few days. Maybe it's cold, I don't know. I haven't left the house in fecking DAYS. The rage is beginning to unfurl from deep within. At first, I thought it was merely onset of more gruesome cramps, but it has a slightly different quality.

Yeah, so let's review: Q got pink eye on Weds. I started feeling ill on Thursday. Baby C was diagnosed with pink eye and dual ear infections on Friday. She started throwing up on Saturday, which is conveniently when things got bad for me as well. Sunday and Monday Q took care of all of us, and I'm feeling better (though not terrific) just in time, because he came down with this Gastro Bug from Hell last night.

A is either going to miss this one, or she's going to come last. We just don't know. It's part of the fun!

I Hate February, and I Hate Winter, and I Hate Germs. I'm really tired of putting my life on hold every few weeks to deal with some new version of Ick, and continually being behind on everything. Because ODDLY ENOUGH the world doesn't stop just because we're all fucking languishing over here.

Yeah yeah. Whine whine, bitch bitch.

Happy Midwinter, I GUESS

I didn't celebrate Imbolc or Candlemas or Groundhog Day or whatever you like to call it. I had no enthusiasm for it this year. I couldn't feel like having six more weeks of winter (at least) was a reason to celebrate. And I know that technically Yule is "midwinter" but here in this hemisphere and climate, this is the middle of winter. And this winter has been all winter, all the time.

So bah on that. And feh on the dumb groundhog. Humbug!

The kids have taken turns being sick off and on since Friday, in fits and starts, and I'm crossing my fingers and washing my hands and hoping like heck I don't catch whatever it is flitting betwixt them. I don't need it.

So right now C is languishing on the couch, being all flushed and sad, and A is back at school, because despite her nighttime snottiness, she is perky and fit and has no business being here climbing the walls. I'm happily pursuing the fine arts of laundry and cleaning. Ha. Haha!

I'm still waiting for someone to volunteer to take me to Italy. If that's too far, Barbados would be an acceptable compromise.

moro reflex, babinski reflex ... whining reflex

My two year old is in this sudden and painful whining phase. It seems as though almost everything she says is now pitched up two octaves higher than her natural voice. It's like nails on a chalkboard ... inside your skull.

I need to understand the whine. I'm sure it's possible for kids to pick up whining from other kids, but I don't think it's the case. Whining seems too universal, especially at this age. I'm willing to bet if you have a single child and raise it entirely in the company of adults, it will still, one terrible day, begin to whine. I'm pretty sure it's part of innate human programming.

Whining is almost impossible to ignore. You can grit your teeth and la-la-la and it will still weasel its way into your ears and reverberate in your fillings. I'm pretty sure if you were, for some reason, rendered immobile in a room with a whining child, after a while you'd begin to bleed from every orifice in your head.

Whining almost always gets an immediate reaction. An overall negative reaction, certainly, but a reaction all the same. Feed it, clothe it, pick it up, just make it stop for the love of God.

My theory is that when a child hits this awkward in-between stage, not quite a baby anymore, not quite a rough and tumble kid, they are programmed to use this hideous caterwauling to keep from being neglected. Once a kid is walking, talking, has lots of independent skills and most of their teeth, it's tempting to let them fend for themselves a little. Whining is an evolutionary adaptation, to keep precious parental resources focused on them.

Because for as much as you'd like to toss the little whiner out of the family cave, the noise is so awful, the quickest and easiest means of relief is to find out what they want and give it to them. I mean, how often does a parent choke out in desperation, "Fine, just TAKE the entire box of tissues, if it'll keep you quiet!"

And you know that most kids don't whine like this for other people, especially unrelated people. Because if you're not carrying my genes into the future ... well, do you really need to get there at all? Especially if you whine like that?

So, I'm thinking primitive Cave Toddler whined along behind Cave Mommy as she picked fruits and nuts and berries, who would feed him and carry him just to Shut Him Up. This got Cave Toddler extra calories in, fewer calories out, and a lot less chance of falling in a hole or eating the wrong berries or getting trampled by a warthog. If Cave Mommy managed to ignore or get out of earshot, I bet you'd see other Cave Folk running out to find her, waving a whining toddler over their head like a primitive police siren.

Whiners are survivors, baby.

Really, really, really annoying survivors.